Really I don't even know what to say right now so I'll just go with the flow. I dont know whats going to happen as of right now. i have to get my gall bladder out. Thankfully the problem has been figured out. I see the surgeon on Monday to make sure thats what he is going to do and set a surgery date. I hope he doesn't wait too long because I don't want to be sick anymore.
As for him.... he's dating another girl but expects me to sit around and wait for him. i need to prove that i want him and then he will dump her for me again. Yeah right....
Just not worth the bullshit I have to deal with with him.
On a lighter note, this guy made contact with me who seems to be pretty cool. He lives about 2.5 hours away, but has a camp about 30 mins away from me. When he comes up to camp on a weekend he wants to hang out and get to know eachother and see how things go. I'm not entirely sure about it, but he seems to be really into me considering he doesn't know me.
I'm not sure what I want right now. But I'm down with meeting new people and making friends if nothing else. My self esteem is shit is so bad from "him" and what he did to me that I am too afraid to meet someone new. I'm so afraid of the rejection and judgement. Most of all scared to death of loving again and being hurt like I was.
For now if I meet him it will be just friends. Nothing fast. Completely slow. I have too much going on to have to focus on a relationship too. I just can't right now. i have t0 stay single for myself and take care of myself. I need to learn how to love myself.
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