Okay, so I didn't go on that date because it just didn't feel right. I'm not ready to go on a date with someone I've only really talked to for a few days. But he understands and is willing to wait until I'm ready, and I couldn't ask for more. He is very understanding and I really like that about him. Granted I'm not sure that I feel any kind of connection with him yet, but maybe I will once we spend time together, I don't know.
I want to go on a date with him and give it a shot. But a huge part of me wants to do it out of spite. Just to hurt the ex. take pics and post them on facebook just like he did. Show him I'm not his property to walk all over anymore. Show him I can do the same as him. Show him I can move on too.
Now again I'm all pumped to do this, but then when it comes time to do it I chicken out. I'm going to get the tests done for the surgery tomorrow and then if it doesn't take too long and I can keep from talking myself out of it, we will probably go for dinner. I feel so weird doing this. I've never really been out on a real date. It's awkward, and I don't know what to wear or how to go about doing all of this.
I can do this, I just have to have enough faith in myself to get to the point of following through.
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